Is Your Spouse Stressed?

When there's increased stress in one area of your spouse's life, it inevitably leaks into the others. Hence, here you are living your life, and suddenly (or so it appears) there's stress on your relationship.

Things are on edge. You may feel like you're tiptoeing around, or maybe trying in vain to get good conversation going. Perhaps there are outbursts of some kind - frustration, tears, manipulation. Or perhaps there's just a lot of distance and you're wondering what's really going on.

You want everything to be ok, to bounce back quickly, but you know these are tricky waters to navigate and things can get ugly fast.

You may have made a bit of a mess with this before, but believe us when we say: if you're willing to refrain from usual sabotages and you're willing to learn different approaches, you can come out of this season in a far better position than you went in.

Here are some do's and don'ts:

DON'T:

• Push away - the other person wants to be close, needs your affection
• Retreat - your spouse needs you to be present and available
• React back - the other person needs you to be confident enough in yourself to be kind and loving in face of their stuff. 

DO:

• Be curious - What is going on that in happier times is being hidden or suppressed? This is a golden question to ask, and being curious automatically makes it so you don't do the don'ts above. Neat, huh?
• Have empathy - Develop the actions and words that show you get them, that you're on their side, that you want to help in any way you can. Establish this well now, and it shows really well on the other side.
• Be a sounding board, or a space creator - Depending on who you're married to, they may want space, which you can help them with, or they may need a sounding board, which you can also provide. 

So, if you play this right, you can come out on top. You will have discovered new things about your spouse that have been hidden and you will have established same-side-ness in a powerful way in your relationship.

You will have aided in the healing process of what's going on instead of creating more stress.

Now, this takes practice, for sure, because one person's stress response more often creates the same in us. But if you persist, if you'll learn to walk this road well (come back to these do's and don'ts as a guide) YOU CAN DO IT!

Need help with this? Txt me 403.816.1684 or fill out the form below. Cheers.